When someone that you love is addicted to drugs addictedof any kind, you can find that it is tough to maintain your boundaries. People who are addicted often push boundaries to meet their own needs, and if the situation has been going on for some time, it is very easy to find that your own boundaries have eroded. Dealing with someone who is addicted is not easy, but there are resources out there that can make it easier on you. Check out these books to get started.
Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by Anne Katherine
Though this book does not specifically deal with boundaries designed for people who are addicted to drugs, it is a good choice to get you started regarding your quest for good boundaries. It helps you to reinforce the idea that you are someone who needs and deserves boundaries, and it gives you concrete ways to make sure that your needs are respected. Whether the person who is pushing your boundaries is a friend, a lover, a family member or even an ex, this is a book that is designed to help you create the fences that you need.
Katherine, a trained counselor, tells us that there are many ways for people to violate each other’s boundaries, but whether the violation is accidental or deliberate, it must be stopped. She goes on to give you a good idea of what it is like to have good boundaries and how you can get there yourself. Good boundaries are an essential part of recovery for both the addict and for the people around them, and this can make a huge difference to a recovery project.
Why Don’t They Just Quit? What Families and Friends Need to Know About Addiction and Recovery by Joe Herzanek
When someone that you love becomes addicted, it can be hard to understand where they are coming from and why they do the things that they do. As a matter of fact, one of the most distressing and distracting things that you can say to someone who is addicted to drugs is, “why don’t you just quit?” This book talks about boundaries, but it goes much further than that. Herzanek explains what it is like to be an addict, and gives great information on some of the best ways to help. He pulls no punches, but over all, he leaves the reader feeling very hopeful.
There is a lot in the book about being there for the person in question, but he also talks about self-care as well, something that many friends and family of addicts do not really prioritize until they have been pushed to the breaking point. Herzanek talks about how to prevent getting to a breaking point, and he goes on to discuss what you can do to best push a friend or family member towards real recovery.
In addition to reading these books, you will find that calling a helpline can make an enormous difference towards your ability to get the help you need. Call our hotline at 800-447-9081 when you want to learn about establishing good boundaries with an addicted loved one. Remember, good boundaries are important for everyone, even the person that is trying to push them!